Gallavich Oneshots
by LuhGleek
Summary: As the title says, you'll find here a bunch of Gallavich oneshots. Each chapter is unrelated to the other.
1. Mickey Milkovich Doesn't Beg

**A/N: Mickey's thoughts during and after the break up.**

* * *

"This is it. This is you breaking up with me."

Mickey knew it would come. He knew Ian would get tired of him eventually and that he wouldn't be good enough. He was never good enough. But he had hoped. He had tried so hard to be the boyfriend Ian has always wanted. It was tough but his love for Ian made it easy. He just couldn't understand.

Did Ian want him not to care for him like he did? He has always said otherwise. Maybe it was the illness talking, he didn't know. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. How was he supposed to live now? It seems like he can't even fuck other people 'cause Ian is always on his mind. It feels wrong to be touched by anyone else, as if his body only ever belonged to the red-head and it made him lose his fucking mind.

Mickey was never fond of that romantic bullshit. He didn't believe in love. Then Ian came and changed everything and now he couldn't take it back. So he had believed...maybe he could be happy, maybe love really did exist, right?

He had been wrong. So very wrong.

He didn't want Ian to change, didn't want to fix him. He just wanted him to be healthy again. He knew Ian, and _his_ firecrotch wasn't gone. He acted like that because he was sick, but his Ian was there, he knew it. Mickey wanted to see him happy again, not fucking numb like he got when he took his meds. But if he didn't take them, he could hurt himself...and that was a thought Mickey couldn't ever bear.

So..yeah, maybe he had cared too much. But he thought it was for Ian's good. Apparently, he had screwed up big time, even making Ian doubt his love for him. He never wanted this to happen. God, he was suck a fuck up, worthless piece of shit.

Why does everyone he loves always leaves? His life was so shitty.

All he wanted to do was drop to his knees and beg Ian not to do this.

Honestly, thank God Sammi showed up with that gun because Mickey Milkovich doesn't fucking beg. Ever.


	2. Missing Piece

**A/N: Mickey missing Ian. Set post 5x12. I should probably hide in the corner now...**

* * *

Mickey took a sip of what felt like the hundredth beer of the night.

His back was starting to go numb from being in the same position for hours.

His mind kept going over and over the things Ian had said to him.

It had been over a week since that horrible day.

Once he had managed to escape from that crazy bitch, Sammi, he had gone home and hadn't seen Ian since. As much as it hurt to admit, he missed the redhead like fucking hell.

He was so sure that if the old Mickey saw him now, he would laugh at his face and tell him to stop being such a little faggot. But what could he do? Mickey wasn't used to being happy and now that he had had the taste of it, it was so hard to move on and go on with his miserable life like before.

Before Ian, he didn't live. He survived.

Ian had been his anchor. Through all the bad times, he had been there for him. When everyone went away, Ian was all he had. When Ian was around, Mickey always forgot how much he loathed himself.

Sure, their relationship wasn't perfect. There was a lot of complicated stuff going on, but he still treasured it, all of it. Because a Milkovich can never be completely happy, so he had to hold on to every little inch of limited happiness he had. But man, had he been happy, like he never thought he could.

"Shit, Mickey, the fuck is wrong with you?" He whispered to himself, as he opened his pack of cigarettes, lit the last one and blew it, willing that smoke to take all his pain away.

Just then he heard the door open, Svetlana bursting with a crying Yevgeny on her arms.

"Mick, get your shit together. I need to work, you take care of baby."

He nodded. She sighed and kissed his cheek.

"Don't be like that, he'll come around eventually." She said, as she handed Yevgeny to him.

He nodded but said nothing. They both knew it wasn't true. With one last sad look, she left.

He tried calming down the baby but he kept sobbing.

"Hey, Yev, please, give me a fucking break. What do you want, huh?" He said, his tone tired, but not lacking affection.

"You've already been fed and I guess you've slept enough." The baby began bouncing his little arms, as if trying to pick something up from the shelf. Mickey's heart sunk as he saw what it was.

Ian's photo. His favorite one of him. But also one that brought back so many shitty memories.

He picked it up, caressed it, and as if realising what he was doing, he dropped it quickly to the bed.

"I know, buddy, I miss him too". Mickey whispered as he pressed a kiss to Yevgeny's forehead and quickly wiped away the single tear that threatened to run down from his eyes.


	3. I Chose You

**A/N: Mickey and Ian are not together, but they can't be apart. What happens when Mickey can't handle it?**

* * *

It happened the first time they had seen each other after the break up.

Ian had just gotten drunk and decided to knock on Mickey's door because _what harm could it do?_

Mickey gasped as he opened the door. He pressed his hands hard into his eyes, as if trying to see if what was happening was for real or just another dream of his.

"Ian?" He whispered. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. I needed to see you." He replied and made a move to step into the house.

"Are you drunk? You seem drunk. You should-you should go home."

"Mick, are you not listening to me? I need you, please..."

"The fuck?" Mickey asked, as Ian started to unbutton the brunett's pants. "Stop, please.."

Ian then took a look at the other boy's bulge and smirked. "Doesn't seem like you want me to stop."

"Of course I don't, but...we shouldn't. I shouldn't." Mickey whispered and his voice weakened when Ian caressed his chest.

"Are you...sure?" Ian asked, making sure there was no personal space at all between them as he said the last word.

Mickey could feel the other boy's breath on his lips. Shit, it was just too hard! (No pun intended!).

He couldn't even wrap his mind around what was happening because the other boy's lips were already on his. And, God, how it felt good, like _home_. He felt himself getting lost in the taste of alcohol and something that was pure _Ian_.

He knew he was only setting up for yet another heartbreak, but there was nothing he could do. Ian already had the power to break him.

* * *

He knew Ian thought he was asleep and couldn't see him leaving him _once again_ as he heard the sound of the other boy stepping in a rush through the room.

Mickey could have let him escape. Just like he always did. Except now he couldn't anymore.

"Hey."

Ian turned around and gasped.

"I-I didn't know you were awake."

Mickey sat on the bed and mustered up the courage to say what he needed to.

"You can't keep doing this, ya know? You can't just..keep screwing me over and over. I can't just start mopping around again, hoping that one day you might want me back. That's why I need to know now: is there even a slight chance of you wanting me again someday...of you l-loving me again? If you want me to let you go, I'll do it. For you. But please, Ian, just answer this."

Ian sounded surprised and something flashed behind his eyes, but it was gone with a blink.

"I never stopped loving you, you know? Don't ever doubt that. Shit, why do you think we did what we just did?"

"Fuck, man, don't do this, ok? Just don't. This situation just keeps getting worse. I need an answer. If you leave me now, leave for good. I'll try moving on, I'll try harder. But I just need to know."

"Mick, I" he sighed. "I don't know. I told you I am another person now. I chose to stay like this. I don't want those fucking meds anymore. They're...awful. It doesn't matter how much I love you. I am like this and I can't change for you and if you can't accept that, I can't be with you. I'm sorry".

Mickey was barely holding himself together. He couldn't cry. He NEVER cried.

"I guess I have my answer...just take care, firecrotch." And with one last shuddering breath, he buried himself in the covers, waiting for Ian to leave.

* * *

"Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Ian exclaimed as soon as he got to his own room.

He couldn't keep doind this. He had to talk to someone. And he knew just whom to call.

He dialed the phone number and felt relieved just from hearing a voice he hadn't heard in months.

"Hey, shithead! What's up?"

* * *

It was past midnight when Mickey's cell phone rang. He considered not picking up, because to do that, he had to move. And that was something he really didn't want to do. When he saw who it was, he really couldn't ignore it.

"Mandy?"

"Hey, Mick, how are you?"

"I'm..okay. What about you? It's been too fucking long, hasn't it? I miss having you around, ya know? Are you okay? Is that fucking idiot treating you right?" He started to babble.

"I miss you too, and relax, I'm fine...wow, you really did change." When he said nothing, she continued. "Ian told me...about your break up and-"

"Please, don't. I can't talk about it anymore. Things are just fine, ok? I don't need any shitty pep talk right now..or ever."

"Mickey, stop. I know you. Things have never been so far from fine. And I'm not calling you to give you any pep talk, I'm calling to tell you to get your boyfriend back."

"What the fuck, Mandy? You don't think I've tried? He...doesn't want me. I'm not going to beg like a fucking bitch anymore. It's time to accept this and move on". He said, but his tone didn't convince Mandy, nor himself.

"Hear me out, asswipe, of course he wants you. He fucking lied to you, okay? He didn't break up because he thinks you don't love the real him or some shit like that, he-"

"No, Mandy, stop" He then paused. "Wait, what? Are you serious?"

"Yeah, go talk to him. He's as devastated as you are, believe me."

"Shit, I guess I will. Thanks, sis"

"Whatever, idiot. Get your shit together because I can't have my two favorite people being so sad."

He hang up and ran. He didn't care if he looked ridiculous. If there was any chance of him getting Ian back, he would take it in a blink.

* * *

Ian Gallagher was a fucking wreck. As soon as the door opened, Mickey could notice he had been crying. A lot.

"Mick?" He said with a weak voice and fell into the other boy's arms.

"Shit, Gallagher, don't." Mickey said, as he ran his hands through Ian's back.

They pulled back and looked into each other's eyes

"Why are you here? I thought you wouldn't come back, you said-"

"Mandy talked to me."

"Fuck, I told her not to. She wasn't supposed-"

"Ian, she was just trying to help...now, don't you think I deserve an explanation?"

They stayed silent for a while, Mickey waiting for Ian to speak.

Then the redhead broke the silence. "Monica said some things that got me thinking, ya know? She was acting like a fucking psycho, but she said something that made sense and I only thought about that now. She said it was important to be with someone whom you love and loves you back. I thought of you immediately. I thought of how we love each other and how great it would be if things were simpler.

But I also thought that I couldn't keep doing this to you. Each time you called, I thought of how worried you might have been, all because of me. Yes, I lied to you. I did it because it wasn't fair to you. You don't deserve a burden like me, a-"

Mickey interupted him.

"Don't you ever talk like that about yourself again. You're not a burden, ok? I take care of you 'cuz I want to. I chose to be with you, Ian." He caressed the redhead's face.

"You don't deserve this. You deserve so much better. Who knows when I'll freak out again and do bad things? My mom put Frank through so many shit when-"

"Hey, you're not Monica" He brought both hands to Ian's cheeks. "Besides, I don't care about all the shit that might happen. I just wanna be with you, okay? I love you. " Mickey replied and those words sounded so sincere, that Ian gave the biggest smile.

"Okay. I love you, too. I'm sorry" He said, whispering the last two words.

They hugged each other and, after so many months, it finally felt like the world had a meaning again.


	4. Never Over

**A/N: In which I fix things between Ian and Mickey and with Mandy. Hope you like it :)**

* * *

"It's really over, isn't it?" Ian looked at Fiona with sad eyes. "With Mickey, I mean."

They were sitting in front of the tv watching some dumb movie, but neither was paying attention to it, anyway. Both lost in thought about their complicated love lives.

Fiona said nothing, just brought her hand and placed on top of Ian's, staring at him with simpathetic eyes.

"I-I went to his house yesterday. He wasn't there".

* * *

*FLASHBACK ON*

Ian knocked on the door as hard as he could. He felt really anxious and a little apprehensive, but he _needed_ to do this.

There was no answer. He knocked again.

"Jesus Christ, I'm going, can't you just hold the fuck up?" He heard a familiar voice say through the door.

The door opened and there stood Iggy Milkovich, looking pissed and tired. His eyes softened a little when he saw the redhead.

"Ian, hey, man"

"Hi, Iggy...is Mickey here?" Ian asked, hesitantly.

"No, man, sorry." He eyed him with a sad expression. "He, uh, actually is not living here anymore."

"W-what the fuck do you mean?" His heart was beating so loudly, he was afraid it might burst out of his chest.

"He's living with Mandy. Indiana. Said he had to protect her of some shit, but I think he just needed to get away" Iggy paused. "Sorry, Ian"

"It's okay," _It's not. _"Did he say anything about me or left some message?"

"Yeah, he actually did, but I don't think-"

"Please, tell me what he said." Ian said, his voice breaking.

"He-he said that if I ever saw you, it was to tell you to fuck yourself."

"Oh." He chewed his bottom lip.

"I'm sorry." He eyed him pitying.

Ian nodded and left. He's always loathed pity.

*FLASHBACK OFF*

* * *

"Oh, Ian, I'm so sorry-"

"Stop it, okay? I am tired of people apologizing to me, when I was the one who screwed up! I shouldn't have done that to him, but I thought it was for the best, ya know?" Ian said, tears spilling down.

"Did you try calling him?"

"Yes, he-he never picks up. I lost him for good."

Fiona hugged him tightly and in that moment, her heart broke for him. And as her sister, she knew what she had to do.

* * *

"Shit, has he been like this all day?" Fiona asked, looking at the unmoving figure on the bed.

"Yeah, it's getting worse, Fiona. He doesn't wanna take his meds." Debbie answered.

"Yeah, I know. I-I think I know what to do." Debbie looked at her, curious. "We're going to Indiana".

* * *

8 a.m. on a saturday and there was an insistent knock on the door.

"Jesus, who the fuck is this? It better be important because-" Mickey paused as he saw who was across the door.

"Mickey, hey" Fiona said, as Debbie gave him a small smile.

He seemed to process what was going on for a minute, before trying to shut the door. He was interrupted, though, by Fiona's foot.

"Come on, we gotta talk to you" Fiona said and her expression made Mickey's heart sink in his chest.

"W-what, uh, did something happen to Ian, is he okay?" Mickey asked nervously.

"Physically, yes. Mentally, no. But you already knew that. Can we come in?" Debbie asked.

He looked at them with appreciative eyes, then sighed. He opened the door and gestured for them to come in.

"Thought you were living with Mandy?" Fiona said, as she entered the house.

"She lives next door. Where the fuck did you get all this information? How did you find me?"

"Your brothers told us after, um, we gave them some shit. They're pretty easy to get info from" Fiona replied.

"Shit, fucking bastards." Mickey said, as he pinched his nose. "What do you want?"

"We're here to talk about Ian." Debbie said, seriously.

Mickey said nothing, just waited for them to say more.

"He's getting worse, Mickey. Right now, he's in his depression mode and we don't know what to do. One night we caught him with a knife," Mickey's eyes widened at that, filled with worry. "But we took it from him before he did anything stupid. He needs to be watched 24/7 and all that because he doesn't want to take his pills."

Mickey stayed silent for a while.

"What the hell am I supposed to do? He's not my boyfriend anymore...I tried, okay? I tried to be what he wanted, I changed for him. He doesn't want me and he doesn't like the pills. There's nothing I can do." He sniffed, trying not to cry.

"Really? You really believe that? Of course he wants you, Mickey. He knows the shit he did...he went to your house, looking for you." Debbie said.

"H-He did?" Mickey asked, his heart beating fast in his chest.

"Yes. And he was devastated when he knew you were gone. He wants you back, Mickey." Fiona said.

"He said that?"

"Not with all the letters, but it's pretty obvious, yes. He needs you. And honestly, you're our only hope to bring the old Ian back."

"He's not different, ya know? He's the same dork I feel for," He looked down, shyly. "He just does some stupid shit sometimes, but he's still the same".

There was a moment of silence.

"I was wrong about you." Fiona whispered.

"Huh?" Mickey asked, clearly lost in thought.

"When you and Ian first started dating, I thought you were just another thug who didn't care or anything or anyone, that you would break his heart after a while. I was wrong. You're a good person, Mickey".

"You are." Debbie agreed.

Mickey looked at them both and admitted shyly, "I love your brother"

"We know. And he loves you too. I know you're both miserable without each other, so why don't you come back?"

Mickey chewed the insides of his cheeks and nodded.

"Okay. But let me do something first, okay?"

* * *

"I'm not going back there...There's nothing there for me." Mandy said, her voice barely audible during the last words.

"Mandy, come on! I'm not gonna leave you here with that piece of trash, you deserve so much better! And you're gonna find someone, okay? Look at me, I didn't even deserve it as much as you, but Ian came into my life to make everything better, I-" He stopped talking and bit his lip, staring down shyly.

"You always think so low of yourself" Mandy said, sadly.

"Yeah, and so do you."

They stayed quiet for a while, when Mandy broke the silence.

"I thought things hadn't worked out between you and Ian? Yesterday, you couldn't ever hear his name." She said, making it sound like a question.

"I'm gonna fix it. I just need you to come with me, please. I am your brother and I must take care of you or some shit, right?"

"Aww, you're so sweet!" Mandy said, in a teasing tone.

"Fuck off" He said, but couldn't hide his smile. "So, are you coming?"

She stared at him for a few seconds and said. "Yes...okay, I will".

* * *

"Ian?" No response. "Come on, Ian..talk to us." Still no response. Debbie sighed.

Fiona looked at Mickey, then at Ian, who was completely oblivious to his lover's presence in the room.

"I think you should go in now. We're gonna leave you two alone." Fiona whispered. "Thank you."

Mickey only nodded. When the door closed, he whispered:

"Ian?"

The boy shifted on the bed, but said nothing.

Mickey knew the other boy wouldn't respond, so he just took his coat off, and joined the redhead on the bed, cuddling him from behind.

Ian let him. And if he moved just a little closer to the warm body behind him, neither boy pointed it out.

* * *

Mickey woke up to a soft hand stroking his face.

He smiled, eyes still closed.

"You're here." He heard the other boy whisper. He opened his eyes and was greeted by those hypnotic green eyes he secretly loved.

He smiled even bigger and said. "I am here. And I'm not leaving. Next time you pull out a shit like that, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you, firecrotch."

Ian said nothing, just continued to stroke his lover's face, moving occasionally to his hair.

But Mickey could swear he saw the ghost of a smile in the other boy's face.

* * *

**Hey, guys! So if you have any prompts you can send it to my tumblr (make-it-dark-again). I'm kinda out of ideas, so please send your requests!**


	5. Words Will Never Hurt Me

**A/N: It's been a while since Ian and Mickey broke up, but they miss each other more than anything. Ian has time to think about how much he needs Mickey and hopefully fix things. He'll do what he can, no matter how Mickey is treating him. Words are just words, it's not like they can hurt him…right?**

* * *

Ian had gotten tired of him, had finally moved on. He knew it would happen, but he was hoping the redhead would stay around for a little longer. Insecutities came creeping in, his father's words echoing in his mind.

_"You're a worthless piece of shit, you still think anyone can deal with you? That's why your mother left! She got tired of your bullshit!"_

No. Ian wasn't like that. He loved him. He knew that. It was just how he was...when things became too much, he ran away. Mickey just felt, for some reason, that this time, he wasn't coming back. He figured he should be happy he had been sent this angel of release to make his life less shitty. Don't cry because it ended, smile because it happened or some shit like that, right?

That's what Mickey told himself every night as he tossed and turned on _their_ bed. It seemed like a ritual now, as he went to sleep, he grabbed Ian's pillow, pressed his nose on it and inhaled. The scent of the redhead, his favorite scent in the world, seemed to be fading away. Mickey had no idea what he would do when it was finally gone, since this was the last piece of Ian he had. He was not ready to let go.

He opened his closet to retrieve his hidden bottle of Percocet, the one he took when things hurt _too much_, when he saw Ian's favorite green sweater in the corner. He desperately took it in his hands, caressing the soft fabric. He closed the closet, enveloped himself in the sweater and curled up on Ian's side of the bed, bottle long forgotten. It felt like being hugged by his redhead after such a long time.

For the first time in weeks, Mickey slept without having nightmares. Sure, he missed the heat Ian's body provided more than anything. But he had Ian's scent filling his lungs once again. And that had to do. At least, for now.

* * *

"Hey, Ian, are you ok?" Fiona asks, as she looks at her brother with a look of concern.

"No, I'm not." Ian answers.

She waits for him to elaborate and when he doesn't, she asks "Is this about Mickey?"

"Yes, it is about Mickey. It always is, isn't it? I thought I made the right decision by breaking up with him, but I miss him so much, Fi. I can't do this anymore." He says, with tears in his eyes.

"Ian, I don't know what to say. Do you want me to make you a cherry pie? They used to make you feel better when you were a kid."

"I think I'm gonna start taking the meds again." Ian says, ignoring Fiona's question.

Her eyebrows raise in surprise.

"Are you serious? This is so good, Ian!" She grins.

"Yeah...that's what he wanted. I wanna do this for him. Maybe...maybe if I take them, he'll want me back, right?"

Fiona sighs.

"Ian, I don't think Mickey'd want that. You need to do it for yourself, not for him." She places her hands on his shoulder.

"Yeah, but since I can't do that.." He doesn't finish.

She nods. They stay in silence for a while, when he says "About that pie..." Fiona giggles and hurries to the kitchen to make it.

* * *

It's late at night, long past midnight when Ian hears his phone ringing. He looks at it, startled from his thoughts, since he hasn't been able to sleep before 4 a.m. since _it _happened.

The name on the screen is one he hasn't seen in a while. His heartbeat is suddenly so much faster. He clicks on the answer button, but finds himself unable to say anything.

After a minute of silence, he hears a sloppy "Ian?"

Mickey is drunk, he instantly recognizes in his tone.

"Hey, not gonna answer me? Fine. Not like a give a shit. I just wanna know why, Ian."

When Ian doesn't say anything, for the lack of words is unimaginable, Mickey sighs.

"Fuck, I tried everything. I gave you all you wanted. I took fucking care of you. I tried to be a good boyfriend. Why wasn't it enough?"

"Mick-" Ian finally says, but the brunette is still speaking, his tone growing louder.

"How am I supposed to live now? I don't know what's happening to me but I fucking knew I shouldn't have fucked you that day, five years ago. Then I wouldn't have to suffer like this. How did you expected me not to fall for you when you're so..." He doesn't finish, says instead: "You broke me, Ian! I hate you! I hate you!" Mickey sobs into the phone.

When Ian has the courage to speak, the line goes dead.

* * *

Mickey Milkovich wakes up the next day with the worst hangover ever.

He rubs his eyes, as the events of last night come rushing though his mind.

Fuck, what had he done? Why had he said those things to Ian? He was so mad and tired of suffering and the alcohol had given him the courage to do it.

Of course he didn't hate Ian, as much as he wishes he did. It would all be so much he easier if he hated him. But all he could feel for the redhead was love. And that was something he had no control over.

Now Ian would never want him back. He had screwed up big time.

* * *

_I hate you! I hate you! _

The words echoed through Ian's mind.

_Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. _

Bullshit. Those words hurt more than all of those times people would punch or kick him. They hurt like a thousand knifes in his heart.

He had finally done it. He got Mickey Milkovich, the most important person in his life, to hate him.

He suddenly feels the need to take his pills in one big swallow. They would numb the pain.

At least he was taking them for himself now, right?

* * *

Mickey didn't know for how long he'd been wandering through the neighborhood, he didn't even know where his legs were taking him.

He should have expected to end up there, though, his subconscious looking for any piece of Ian it could find.

He checks to see if anyone was there and when he sees there wasn't, he enters the field.

That was _their _place, the one they'd been to too many times, most of them when things were so much simpler, when it didn't hurt like this.

If he closed his eyes tightly enough, he could still hear their desperate breaths echoing through the place. He could see Ian looking down at him with such affection he hadn't seen in a while, but craved so much - even if he didn't want to admit it -, his pale freckled face beautifully reflecting the moonlight.

Suddenly he hears a voice calling his name. He thinks it is just a figment of his imagination, so he keeps his eyes shut.

"Mick?" The voice calls again, this time closer.

When he opens his eyes, he gasps. There stood the boy whose face he'd been dreaming about every single night.

"Good, now I'm hallucinating too." He mutters, as he squeezes his eyes shut one more time.

"What? No, Mick, it's me!" Ian says. When he touches the other boy's shoulder, he flinches.

Ian's eyes fill with hurt. He hadn't seen Mickey flinching away from him in a very long time. Actually, Mickey used to act like that to hide his sexuality from the world and mostly, from himself. But now he had no reason to hide, so why wouldn't he let Ian touch him?

Reality crushes him like a million stones.

"Shit, you-you really hate me, don't you? F-fuck, I shouldn't be here-" He stutters, as tears begin to blur his vision.

He makes a move to leave, but the he hears Mickey speaking, barely audible:

"I could never hate you."

"What?" Ian turns around and gets closer. Closer than it would be considered safe.

"I-I could never hate you. Sorry if I told you that. I wasn't really in my best mind last night." Mickey says, looking at anywhere but Ian's eyes.

Ian nods. They staysilent for a while.

"How did you know I'd be here?" Mickey asks, quietly.

"I didn't. I just-I felt the need to be here. This is were I come when I feel lonely, actually." Ian admits, shyly. Then, "I miss you."

Mickey lets out a laugh, but it sounds humourless.

"Sure you do."

Shit, why is he acting like this? Why won't he even look at me?

_Would you at least look at me? _

This all felt too familiar.

"I do. I really do." He takes a deep breath and decides right then that he needs to fix this, to fix them.

"Mick, I-" He is interrupted by Mickey's mouth pressing into his in a sudden movement.

It's not gentle. Teeth clattering desperately, as if trying to absorb each other's taste.

Their bodies slam together, as if they're trying to become _one. _They get impossibly close, afraid that if they let go, it all might be a dream.

_If this is a dream, then let me sleep for the rest of my life._

After a while, they come up for air and finally look into each other's eyes.

"Fuck..." Mickey mutters as he bits his lower lip. "This shouldn't have happened. It was a mistake" Mickey says, throwing on the floor a can of beer Ian hadn't noticed was there until now .

Wow, words really could hurt more than anything.

_Fucking words._

Ian expects him to leave, but it seems like they are unable to move.

"Nothing between us is a mistake." Ian says.

"What the fuck, Gallagher? Stop with this right now, ok? You were the one who called this off, so don't expect me to be nice about it." Says Mickey, defensively.

"Oh, so I'm Gallagher now? Ok, then, I see how it is! We're back to fucking high school times? What are you gonna do? Hide in the closet again?" Ian says, but as soon as the words leave his mouth, he regrets them. "Mick, I-I'm sorry-"

Mickey pushes him. "Fuck you! Stop being so damn ungrateful! I've done everything for you! I gave you my fucking love! This isn't fair, stop doing this."

"I know, Mick. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, fuck" Ian runs a hand through his head. "I love you, you know that, right?"

Mickey freezes, mouth opening and closing several times. "I do."

"I never told you, but I should have. You are a person who deserves to know how much you're loved. Sorry if I didn't make you feel like it."

Mickey is left speechless for a couple of minutes.

"I felt loved with you. I've never...felt this. Things got shitty, sure, but you made me happy, Ian." He says, looking at the ground.

_Made._

"I'm taking my meds again." He doesn't mention that Mickey is the reason why he's doing it.

"That's great, Ian." Mickey smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

Ian hesitates before saying. "I need you. I can't go through this alone, Mick. I am willing to get better. Please, give me another chance. I can't promise that I won't screw this up, but-"

"Will you stop being so fucking gay and kiss me already?" Mickey asks, but his tone is teasing.

Ian was more than happy to comply.

"I love you too, Ian." Mickey says as he pulls away, eyes shining with affection.

Ian smiles.

"Is that my sweater?"

Mickey looks at himself and blushes.

The redhead looks at him with a satisfying look on his face and Mickey growls "Fuck off." He can't help but smile while he says it.

Ian smiles back as they kiss each other again.

That night, they make love under the stars and Mickey wouldn't admit it to anyone else, but it is the best night of his life. As he lay there, in his lover's arms, he promises himself he will never let go of Ian again.

Little did he know the redhead was thinking the same thing.


End file.
